On Being Scared...

Halloween 2014

It's Halloween Eve. The anticipation has been building all week. We have engaged in Halloween related activities and projects all week long. It's almost here!

I promise, we are not really big Halloween junkies. Babe-O has had an interest in things that are a bit scary this year, like the idea of ghosts and haunted houses, spiders and bats, and ghouls (we call them dirty guys). And more than the tricks or treats, I really enjoy the feeling of Magic that can accompany Halloween. The magic of being anyone or anything that you want to be. The magic of autumn nights where the leaves crunch under your feet, toasty popcorn and warm apple cider fill your belly, the stars burn brighter in the clear night sky and bonfires spark and warm chilly noses in the cold air that will carry in Winter. As the leaves fall and the nights get longer, it seems like a time to celebrate the magic of growing older. Because we are all doing it and because that sweet and sour anguish of watching my kids get older lives in my bones and will always haunt my heart as I try my hardest to hold onto the little moments, knowing I will have to let go.

Today Babe-O and I had a scare. Different kinds, in different ways. For me, it was the kind of scare that reinforced the impossibility of keeping my children protected from fear or unpleasant experiences whether they be scary or painful.

We had a friend over and dressed up in our costumes for a day out at a Glow in The Dark Inflatable Playground. The kind where your kids get to jump up and down until they are ravenous and so very tired, yet totally pumped full of adrenaline. You know, kinda how it feels after a really hard workout (the kind that make you feel like you might pass out but you don't). It's fun (once in a while).
And it was a special event for Halloween. Jump around in your costumes! Glowing, bouncing, Halloween fun! Perfect!

Babe-O quickly got used to the Glow in the Dark area, after being very cautious at first. He and his friend were having a great time chasing each other around an enclosed obstacle course. Babe-ala and I watched from behind the net enclosure, cheering Babe-O on as he bounced by. Suddenly and undetected by myself, an older child in a scary wolf mask entered the dark glowing bouncy house. Babe-O turned around only to be head-on with a wolf. The scream was piercing as he tried to escape the enclosure only getting trapped in the net. I yelled for the older child to take off his mask, which only took a moment and Babe-O recovered with the comfort of his friend and myself.

It's hard to describe a Mom's (or Dad's) reaction in the instant when her child is faced with something terrifying, something so scary you know that in some way, measurable or immeasurable, it will change them. There are all different kinds of scary and all different ways of being changed. But in the instant the incident occurs you can at once empathize so deeply as to be equally and indelibly imprinted as your child and simultaneously realize that although you are now more present for your child than you may ever mundanely be you are absolutely and utterly unable to protect them from the impact.

The spectrum of scary is so broad: from childhood illness, disease, tragedies (which we also live with on a daily basis you can read about Deo here) to the frights of Halloween, fear of the dark, loud flushing toilets.  The effect may have it's definite course or be unknown and as a Mom it can be hard to decipher which is scarier.

As a Mom, the scariest thing is to embrace my own fears about my children growing up - to really let myself feel the fear, pain, even regret of not having seen the Wolf coming. Accepting that while they are young I can  do what "feels" like sustaining their lives every day and still not see the Wolf coming. Realizing that sometimes I may see the Wolf coming and have to let my children encounter it on their own and knowing that even if they turn to me in times of fear there will be increasingly less and less I will be able to do.

We will have different scares, in different ways. If I practice living with and love through my fears, which I believe is the magic of fully, deeply living I may have the privilege to be there to hold the space where their fear lives without letting mine get in the way.

It comforts me to know, on this Halloween Eve, that my children may know the feeling of being loved that is both connected to fear and more powerful than it. 

How's that for existential Halloween fodder?

Just to let you know:
As he was leaving the Glowing, Bouncing Halloween Party that nearly made him pee his pants, he had a conversation with the manager (totally unprovoked by me- i swear.) In which he informed him that he had run into a wolf in the bouncy house. He reassured him that. "the wolf was really a boy, so thank goodness for that". He continued by questioning the manager, "did you see the wolf come in? " And then castigating him, " You should not let wolves come in here. Next time no masks in the bouncy houses!" (Unannounced to Babe-O, I had already had this conversation with the manager).

Deep breath. He'll be okay this time.

The Pigeon Gets A Pumpkin!

The Pigeon is Babe-O's very favorite literary character!
He just loves him (and the duckling)!
He loves all the books (by Mo Willems) and knows them all by heart.
And since Batman has come into action, we have taken a short break from pigeon only bringing him back to fight crime with Batman once in a while.

Recently, we were surprised to find this book on the "New Books" shelf at the library.



Needless to say, Pigeon has made a come back!
Babe-O plays Pigeon and Duckling stories out in his sleep.
We role play Pigeon and Duckling (I usually get to be Duckling) almost everyday and we do Pigeon and Duckling puppet shows.
I am sure this may seem familiar to many of you, since Pigeon and Duckling are pretty popular.
(And if you don't know Pigeon and Duckling, I recommend them no matter your age. Very funny stuff and a lot of room for ad lib!)

Naturally, our pumpkins have turned into Pigeon and Duckling.

Here they are sharing a hot dog on the front porch.
Babe-ala brings the mustard to the party!

I will admit that this project stressed me out a little bit.
The excitement leading up to the final project was very frenetic and it was hard for little hands to resist pigeon and duckling while they were still wet.

We used acrylic paints like these.  Babe-O and Babe-ala both helped paint the pumpkins. Our paints clearly said non-toxic on the label. Although, I worry with acrylic paint (hence the heightened stress about the painty mess).While they dried, we took a long bath break.

The beak is made from foam sheets. I cut two triangles for the top and two for the bottom beak and hot-glued them in 3-D fashion, as well as to the pumpkin itself.
I painted the eyes on and Babe-O helped put the large googly eyes on Pigeon.

When they were dry (or still a little wet), we got a hot dog and mustard bottle from our play kitchen and had a hot dog party on the front porch!

Fun, fun, fun!

And here's the scary pumpkin (carved by yours truly)... just because it's The Scariest Best Things Week... and we HAD to have a scary pumpkin...

ROAR! 

A few of our favorite Pigeon books:

Orange Pumpkins. No Really, Orange Pumpkins.

I did this a long time ago with a clementine peel.
But lately we have a ton of oranges in the house.
We haven't seen a good orange in a while so when we found them at the store we bought them up.
Here's what we did with the peels.
Perfect for little hands since carving a pumpkin is usually a big persons job around here.

Step 1: Cut off the top of your orange.

Step 2: Make an incision down the back of the peel and carefully pull out the orange guts. If the peel rips a bit that's okay. You'll see it will still be spherical-ish.

Step 3: Cut out your orange pumpkin face. I used a knife and I helped Babe-O me use scissors to cut  a scary face into the peel.

Step 4: Sucher up your orange. I cut up a bamboo skewer. Toothpicks might work fine too.

Step 5: Insert tea light.

Step 6: Light your candle and turn off the lights for some spooky orange pumpkin fun!

Silk Dyed Eggs ? !

Who knew?
Not me.
You can dye eggs with old silk ties...

I found a few ties at the Thrift Store. Cut them open and cut a few squares. We blew out our eggs, because I had never done it before and Diet Coke Papa has. Fun! Babe-O even helped poke the holes in the eggs with a nail. And if it wasn't so much fun for babies and toddlers to grab eggs that are shiny and hanging on our egg tree we might actually have a few to save for future years.

We wrapped the eggs in silk squares (right side of the tie touching the eggshell). And then wrapped the silk wrapped egg in a piece of cotton (we used squares of an old t shirt). Use twist ties to close the wraps. Babe-O and Deo enjoyed helping with this part. 

In a pot, cover eggs with water and add about 1/4 cup vinegar. Boil for 20 minutes. Let cool. Or in my case run cold water over the "packets" because you can't stand to wait. Open each precious surprise with the kids and squeal with delight!   

Oooo! The red tie worked the best. It was our favorite.

 

 

For more detailed instructions on dying eggs with silk check out http://www.marthastewart.com/269788/silk-tie-easter-eggs

and for how to blow eggs out of the shell (hysterical video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE19g_OCZms

 

 

I used some wire and a few beads and hung them on our Spring Tree. To make them shiny I rubbed them with a bit of olive oil. Therein lies the rub, shiny bejeweled eggs hanging from branches. You'll have to imagine it because only a few have survived. Even so, we talk about them a lot since the tree is on the table and Deo has declared that this is the way we will be dying eggs every year.

 

So special! So fun!

Happy Spring!

 

 

 

New Year's Flags for Everyone!

Wanted to share our process and experimentation with making New Year's Flags here. This was a project, enjoyed by everyone: 2 adults (one very art phobic Hottie), a three year old (Babe-O), an eight month old (Neecy Bee), and a 23 year old with cognitive and physical disabilities (Deo). Everyone with their own abilities, visions, and attention spans took part in this project and enjoyed both the process and the outcome.

One of my favorite blogs to refer to for art and craft projects is The Artful Parent. I spied the Stained Glass Bunting project there a while back and have always wanted to try. Here's how we adapted it for our needs:

Everyone got a sheet of wax paper, large enough to fold in half and cut a triangular flag from.

Using tissue paper, newspaper, and other scraps everyone decorated their wax paper by cutting and pasting shapes. (Babe-O loved this. He is obsessed with using scissors these days. Today he cut a phone charger cord because he was searching for string to cut and couldn't find any. Neecy Bee loved this because, well, she loves, paper, any paper, that she can put in her mouth or crinkle between her fingers.) Next, we tried grating crayons with a cheese grater onto the wax paper. (Deo loved this. He was able to grate all by himself and the end result was so awesome). We also squeezed glitter glue sticks onto the wax paper. The glitter doesn't sparkle in the sunlight but it was super fun and messy to use.

We folded the wax paper in half so that the crayon shavings were pressed inside. I microwaved the whole creation for about 50 seconds, being careful to be there when the time was up, as the paper needs to be "pressed down" right away to help the melted crayon bind to both sheets of wax paper. (Using the microwave replaced the need for a hot iron with small kids around and a big kid with some unpredictable movements).

We made two flags each this way. We were having so much fun. Then we decided to experiment further. We used permanent markers to color on the wax paper. Creating yet another interesting and beautiful stained glass effect. This was a quick way for Deo to get a lot of color on the paper. Then we went ahead and grated more crayons. Experimenting with how much crayon we could melt between the wax paper before it turned to grey mush instead of speckled rainbow goodness.

I cut out our triangular flags, folded the top over a string and stapled the flap to the string. (Didn't want to use our time at the sewing machine. This went quickly and will serve us just fine for a while).

While we were creating we were also talking and thinking about a word that could describe our goal or wish for the year. Mine was nourish. Nourish my body, my children, my family. Nourish our creativity. Nourish my soul by being present with my kids, carving out time with my husband, making things. This word dangling in the window will help me remember my direction this year.

Once the flags were dangling in the window, catching the sun, I wrote everyone's words on the flag of their choice. Now during meal times through out the day we can see our words illuminated.

These first days of the year pass and the moisture from the window and elements will eventually degrade our flags and we will take them down. By then we will have a new project to do to revive our words and remind ourselves which direction(s) we are headed in.